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Monsters Under the Bed

What about people who do really horrible things? Shouldn't we use shame to make them stop?

There are two reasons people do really horrible things: either they are sociopaths or they have been so badly shamed they have become stunted humans. For the former, shame will be ineffective because sociopaths are immune to social pressure. For the latter, the last thing they need is more shame. They may need incarceration to keep society safe from them, but they do not need to be made to feel like their stunted state is their fault. Another way to put that answer is this - if we can eliminate shame from our repertoire of social pressure, we will minimize the number of people who do horrible things.

Now that I'm an adult, how do I go about fixing the lack of parenting I received early in life?

Your job as an adult is to figure out two things: what you weren't taught growing up and what you were taught incorrectly. This discovery process will happen naturally because we will trip over those two things when we come across them in our daily lives. It is a little more elegant to sleuth them out ahead of time and fix them. This website is designed to help you find out what you don't know that you don't know so that, perhaps, you won't have to trip up so often.

© Copyright 2014 Jan Iversen. All rights reserved.