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Thanks for bringing up the topic of damage control. When we really mess up, we are stuck between a rock and an easy place. The easy place is nearly irresistible and beckons us to wrap ourselves in heightened entitlement, righteous anger and stoic heartbreak. Better known as sulking, it is all very dramatic and safe. And, truly, somewhat soothing. So, stay there for a minute and then face the rocky side. The hard steps to take after a nasty fight rarely fail, almost always deliver you to a much better place in your life and yet are difficult for most of us to face. They are: talk to yourself with healthy internal discussions as you differentiate, think, apologize, forgive and work to regain trust. These behaviors are all important to understand completely and all need to be well learned, so they each have their own article. If you want to clean up your mess, then, tell yourselves: "Of course we blew it. Fighting well is a new concept for us. And we need to set this right so we can try again."
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